Lunch break ponderings

It’s strange the feelings that suddenly come by me. Like late realisations of what has happened and the depth of his betrayal almost like its my body that is catching up with my reality. 
I feel a certain hopelessness with the situation that I didn’t feel prior to the last few weeks or so. He stated often in therapy that he wasn’t sure our relationship was fixable but I disagreed. I feel that he isn’t putting in effort where as he thinks he is but thinks he’s doing it all wrong. I don’t know if my wounded heart is unrecoverable as one minute I feel like we are moving forward and the next the disgust and hurt I feel about what he did is unrelenting. 
I know he loves our daughter more than the world but him staying because of that love only is not acceptable to me. I feel as though he doesn’t see me. 

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