Lunch break ponderings

It’s strange the feelings that suddenly come by me. Like late realisations of what has happened and the depth of his betrayal almost like its my body that is catching up with my reality. 
I feel a certain hopelessness with the situation that I didn’t feel prior to the last few weeks or so. He stated often in therapy that he wasn’t sure our relationship was fixable but I disagreed. I feel that he isn’t putting in effort where as he thinks he is but thinks he’s doing it all wrong. I don’t know if my wounded heart is unrecoverable as one minute I feel like we are moving forward and the next the disgust and hurt I feel about what he did is unrelenting. 
I know he loves our daughter more than the world but him staying because of that love only is not acceptable to me. I feel as though he doesn’t see me. 

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2 thoughts on “Lunch break ponderings

  1. I’m so sorry your going through such a rough time! I’m sure he does love your daughter very much…. but as a mother to make her happy and look after her you need to be happy.. or at least heading in that direction.. you need to be kind to yourself and do what is needed in your life to give her what she needs to! Big hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I believe that every relationship can be restored, made new and even better, if and when both people intentionally and fully make the effort to heal and change and become healthy. There is definitely hope for the relationship, but not so much if it is one sided. But there is always hope for your healing regardless of his choices. Keep fighting for you! You can be okay!!

    Liked by 1 person

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