Entwined in him

My husband is away for work for a week and it has given me some time to think. Overall I think I feel a real sense of abandonment. Part of me still can’t believe or maybe doesnt want to believe that my husband has done what he’s done to me. I’ve been trying to figure out what about his whole infidelity has affected me the most. 
It’s the thought that the person I thought loved me could betray me like this. It’s the fact that he could throw away our daughter and I. It’s the realisation deep down in my gut that he doesnt love me anymore. I naively thought that I could never lose the love he had for me. I was so naive. It’s the sense of desolation i feel in my soul. The night that I confronted him or D-Day he said that he has many good memories of us. I feel like all of my memories are tainted. The past 20 years all I’ve known is him. Most of my memories are built with him. I went to make a photo mural wall in our new house but all the photos I went to put up of my life he was apart of it. How can I move on from this when all I am is entwined in him. How can I? 

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9 thoughts on “Entwined in him

  1. I think it’s so important to have something separate from your partner. Whether it’s a job or friends or hobbies, it can keep us sane and independent. This is just my thoughts but i do think a job can do you the world of good sometimes, even just a part time job to get you out of the house, not you specifically but in the general sense you.

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  2. I agree, some level of independence, such as job, hobby, etc, could do a world of good and make you feel more like your own person. Once you aren’t so completely entwined with your partner, you may find that you are no longer interested in him, or he may also find you more interesting. It can open up more possibilities for you at the least, so you don’t feel so stuck!

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    1. Yes I agree. I got a job yesterday so that’s a step forward. I have always been fairly independent of him in terms of also having my own social circle as well as our combined one but I suppose financially I’m dependent on him. Emotionally I’m finding it the hardest. I’m so used to him being there, it would feel like losing a limb.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. That’s fantastic news on the job – congratulations and a huge step forward. Going into the unknown can always be scary but it doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do. Every little step you take is a step forward (not back) x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m so sorry to read what your going through! Dig deep down and find that strong independent woman! She’s in there somewhere and get her to show you the way! It’s a cliche but I really do believe things happen so a reason! πŸ’œ

    Liked by 2 people

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