Another session

Another individual therapy session was had today. I’m writing this at a cafe over looking this beach. So beautiful. I’ve had an OK couple of days. Mother’s Day was a big day for me as it would of been my due date. It’s surreal to think that I could of had a newborn in my arms but it’s not to be. I’m becoming ok with that ever so slowly. I had a lovely Mother’s Day with my daughter. She made me breakfast in bed with the help of my husband and have me all sorts of little presents. She’s so precious. 
I spoke to my husband a few days prior and out what a trigger this day is for me and asked him for support. I said that I’m coming to terms with the fact that he wasn’t supportive when I was pregnant but said that moving forward I need support and empathy. He still thinks I’m torturing myself but we just deal with things different. I do feel like he’s come to the party a little bit on this which is good.
In my session today we spoke about my anger towards my husband over the affair. Therapist said I need to get it out, externalise it. Just not sure at this stage what will work best for me. Hubby is away oversea for business for a week now which will give me a bit of head space,and no the Whore isn’t going along, I checked! 
My plan is to start practicing a bit more self care. I want to start nourishing my body with good food, cut the drinking down and not medicate myself with food. I’m finding this a real struggle but therapist said when I work through all the emotions I won’t feel the need to fill myself in this way. Hope so because I’m running out of clothes that fit. 


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