Destroyed

He’s been having an affair. Just found out yesterday from messages between him and her on his phone. Haven’t confronted him yet as I’m researching my rights with regards to separation. 22 years I’ve known this man, bore him a child, done fertility treatments together and all the while this past 15 months he’s been unfaithful both emotionally and physically. I don’t know this person he’s become. How does someone do this to anyone. I get affairs is one thing but the deceit and the fact that I’ve loved this man all my life is heartbreaking. 

My faith in everything I thought I knew is destroyed. 

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31 thoughts on “Destroyed

  1. Are you fucking kidding me???? Like what the hell is this man thinking?? My initial instinct is to throat punch him and tell you to take your daughter and get the hell out of there. Any “man” who would do such a thing while you have been doing all you have been doing to grow your, his, family is a fucking coward. I am in disbelief. Utter disbelief and I am also livid. This kind of thing makes me so angry. No one deserves this.. YOU don’t deserve this. Your daughter doesn’t deserve this.
    Please take care of yourself. Focus on you and your beautiful little girl.
    Fuck him!
    I’m sorry that I’m being so harsh.. I’m just so upset for you. And no bullshit he could say excuses this behaviour. He could say he was lonely, he has needs…. Blah…blah…blah…

    Again. I’m so sorry. Sending you a hug and all the strength to deal with this.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I am so sorry. I can’t believe you are going through this with everything else. You should not have to go through this right now. Yes, make sure you find out everything before you confront him. I will be praying for you every day.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. oh God, that is so awful. When I read the start of your post I was reminded of a friend of mine who had gone through years of infertility with her husband and she found out he was having an emotional affair. Nothing more had happened but she wondered how far it might have gone.. They went to therapy and basically his connection with this other woman was connected to all of the stress of what they had gone through.. That he felt like he had to be strong for his wife and couldn’t really confide in her anymore. Going through infertility stuff is a HUGE stress on a couple.

    HOWEVER then I read that you said it’s been going on for 15 months! That is unbelievable! So back when you were pregnant and all that time?! That is incredibly hurtful and I can imagine it feels like you don’t really know him anymore. I’m glad to hear you are researching your rights. I hope you have some good support. And I’m so sorry again that you are going through this. Awful for your daughter too. Sending you love and hugs from overseas.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is awful. Like a bad dream. Turns out the day of my termination instead of going to work like he insisted he had to he arranged that morning to go meet up with her. How can someone do that. Unbelievable!! Thank you for your support c

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  4. oh my god my heart my heart went into my mouth. WTF. I’m so utterly sorry to read this. I’m furious to read this. I have no words, what an utter ******. How dare he, after everything you, you little one, everything…! It sounds wise to research your rights. Thinking of you and your child, sending every ounce of strength i have in me to fight this – you will get through this. I will stop rambling – all the love in my goes out to you xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve been thinking about you all night and I’m torn between praying for you to find balance soon versus boiling over and letting him have it. His behavior is appalling. Use your suspended disbelief wisely, keep finding out your rights and setting it all up well to take your next steps with security. Life is monumentally unfair at times. Love your daughter and fill the hole in your heart with her as you are able. Take care of you and her as best you can, lean on others as you can.

    Liked by 1 person

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