Midnight ramblings

Sometimes despite everything all you have to show for effort is a big fat fucking nothing. Sometimes your hearts desires go unheard. Sometimes it all feels so fucking unfair. Sometimes it just is. Sometimes hardships make you better, they teach you a lesson, they gently shuttle you over to other dreams but often there’s nothing that compares to what your heart bleeds for. The bad things that happen in life never have a reason they just are. It’s an unfortunate truth. The worst kind and somehow when you experience it first hand your world is just that little bit darker. Not always black but tinted with that knowing that none of us have any control over the real important stuff. Yes I hear you protest about how we control the way we chose to respond to life’s hardships and i get that. Nevertheless I believe that to forgive the worlds darkness you have to sit with that darkness a while. It’s reality isn’t going to become less. The pain and the dark will lessen but the scars will always be there. Isn’t life a duality of both light and dark? So my next move should be to heal my heart some, come to terms with the darkness always being there a little and practising gratefulness for all I do have. How do I gracefully let go of what perhaps is not meant to be? When somebody finds a way to do that please let me know how. My stubborn heart won’t let go.

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4 thoughts on “Midnight ramblings

  1. Absolutely, life is unfortunately not fair and anyone who has been through really difficult times understands that. I agree that you need to feel your grief and not bury it otherwise it will just come back later. I’m not sure how you could let go of your dream… I am also at the stage of wondering whether I need to accept and move on or whether to keep perusing treatments and hoping… It’s hard. Hoping things start getting better for you in 2017 x

    Liked by 1 person

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