What comes next?

I cried again today for the first time in a week or so. I’m home alone and the house is quiet and there’s space for me to be. I feel so void of anything. I feel flat, like I’m going through the motions of my everyday life and I feel a sense of disconnect which is probably my own doing. I’ve definetly minimised my interactions with people. The interactions Ive had leave me feeling mostly even more disconnected as I feel like I’m so aware of how I am. It seems to me that people will see through to the very heart of me or maybe they don’t see me at all, I don’t know.
People seem wrapped up in themselves especially at this time of year it seems or maybe I’m just feeling really alone and it feels that way.
I don’t know what comes next and I think this is adding to this feeling of loss and feeling lost.
Apologies for this rather bleak post. Just getting it all out.

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9 thoughts on “What comes next?

  1. Sometimes just writing it out helps. I have not been in your situation, but I have experienced extreme feelings of emptiness, void, and deep depression. It is tough to climb your way out – the saying “time heals all wounds” is bull. You will eventually learn how to live with it. The darkness becomes a little lighter when you find good people to support you through your struggle… but sometimes, especially at the beginning, you need to be alone to truly get out everything. Your WP fam is always here for you 🙂 ~ Juliane

    oneLofajourney.com

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  2. I know you are grieving your loss.. i think of you a lot. My heart goes out to you. I know the lost feeling while sitting amongst ppl and also the feeling that everyone is consumed within themselves.
    Firstly, dont expect many to realise. Because they are humans and im sure in the past many who are struggling like u and me would have been oblivious to someone elses struggle. So understand that bit that they all are just humans and nobodys perfect.
    Secondly, give yourself time to grieve but make sure you dont lose too much time grieving. After some time get back up and start smth fresh. Probably working out , yoga , reading or smth that you like and will be new. I also know that smtimes we just feel like shutting ourselves down and doing nothing but thats a wrong approach on our behalves. Probably take up a mommy toddler activity with ur daughter. U will get to spend quality time with your precious… please dont miss out on her toddler days she will grow up too soon… u dont wanna hold regret later onn. Grief is different but regret is the worst..

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  3. It would probably help you to have some sort of plan in terms of moving forward, whatever that may be. Maybe you and your husband could talk it through with a therapist and hopefully be able to get onto the same page. If you are feeling ready to make any decisions, that is. Christmas can certainly be a lonely time. Thinking of you. x

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  4. 😦 thoughts are with you and I can only hope as the week progressed you were feeling a bit lighter. It’s such a tough time of year (all i seem to see is pregnant women). If only we could fast forward the remote of life… do you have any trips planned? maybe even just a weekend to get away would give you something to look forward to. Thinking of you xx

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    1. So many pregnant women around at the moment. Everywhere! A fast forward out of these feelings would be fab wouldn’t it. Just going away a few days over Xmas which will be lovely. Trying to be grateful for something however little each day. Hope you have a nice break planned too. This Ttc business is tough xx

      Liked by 1 person

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