Old habits are hard to break

Third session was had today with my psychologist. He’s lovely. He’s such a gentle old soul and I feel afterwards a sense of calm almost like a part of his calmness has rubbed off on me. Hope it lasts a while. It’s a welcome relief.
He’s helping me make sense of everything that has brought me to where i am today. It’s complex but of course I’ve already physoanalysed these parts of me. I suppose he’s helping me gapsrein more clarity over it all. He’s helping me understand my husbands emotional detachment also which is helping me. I’m so glad he came to the first session with me as now my therapist understands a little of what I’m up against with him and help me find better ways to communicate or at least not feel so alone. I realise that statement sounds like I’m going into battle with my husband but to be truthful that how I often feel. We are exact polar opposites really and I feel as though we don’t express that we care enough to each other. He also thinks I had post natal depression that wasn’t addressed after my daughter 4 years ago. I never sought help for it putting it down to change of lifestyle stress and first baby shock. I feel like things have been a struggle for me since and exasperated after my miscarriage. I am hopeful I can get past these feeling and gain some peace.
He also mentioned that a lot of his clients are older women and that older women are having more babies then teenagers. He even said that I’m on the bottom end of 40 plus women bearing children successfully as he had some clients 45. He told me not to lose hope. That of course was like music to my ears. That old wall of self protection builds up again and I feel fear almost as simultaneously as hope. Old habits are hard to break.


3 thoughts on “Old habits are hard to break

  1. So glad you feel calm after visiting your psychologist and really happy that he understands you very well and your relationship with ur husband.

    Yes, you cant lose hope at all. Trust me , losing hope is like having died while being alive. You cant do that to yourself! Be kind to urself😘


  2. Been thinking of you. Hope your ok and seeing some light in your days.
    Sounds like you have a good match for your psychologist.
    Don’t loose hope. If continuing to try is your desire, then go for your desire. You follow your desire until you reach your dreams. And if your dreams change along the way that’s fine too. You will be at peace again.

    Liked by 1 person

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