Feeling lost 

I feel so lost. The tears that were flowing have turned to a feeling of emptiness, to confusion and bleakness. I feel a little numb. My head keeps trying to make sense of everything but the more I try the more confused I become. I feel foolish. I feel insignificant. I feel alone. I feel a sense of foreboding. My body aches as though my inner turmoil is being manifested outwardly. I plaster a smile on my face and get through the day. I reply in monotone when asked how I am.
I enquire as to others welfare. Sometimes there’s only a shallow attempt from friends to enquire about me. There are no words I know but at least try. I am not diseased I’m in pain. No there’s nothing you can do to make it better but you can be a friend. Just say you’ll be there and actually mean it. I don’t know if it’s me that’s making both my head and heart hurt simultaneously.


6 thoughts on “Feeling lost 

  1. Dear woman… you’re not imagining it. Your body DOES hurt. Are you doing it to yourself? After a fashion, yes… but also NO. You’re describing grief and depression, which is not a shock to you but it’s an important reminder. Don’t let this go on too long without looking to a professional (or two) to help anchor you and get you settled as much as you can be in your new story. Be kind to yourself, let yourself be a bit muddled, reach out to those who can help you if you find that helping yourself is no longer working. You’ve been through hell and that need not be minimized.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It is seemingly the similar thing to do: just be a friend and truly be present for the one in need, yet it’s apparently the hardest thing for people to do. I hope you find this from someone,even if it’s not a friend, but perhaps a group of people who’ve been through what you’re going through. Only those who know will truly know how to react. God bless


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