How’s this for timing. A year or so ago when I began on this IVF journey I said to a friend that I wanted to be done with it all by the time I turned 41. How ironic that the very day I turned 41 I had the phone call with news that our baby had a chromosomal abnormality. If that wasn’t a punch in the gut from the fertility gods I don’t know what is! Initially a few years earlier whilst we were still trying to conceive naturally I said I wanted to be pregnant by the time I turned 40. When that number came and went it wasn’t in such a forceful way as 41. Maybe it’s a sign to give this all up. I don’t know anymore.
Lately I find myself looking more intently at women who appear mature age with babies. I’ve taken to trying to gauge their age. I can’t even shop anymore as all I see everywhere is babies and sometimes seemingly older mums. A flicker of hope ignites in my belly. This is shitty