How ironic

How’s this for timing. A year or so ago when I began on this IVF journey I said to a friend that I wanted to be done with it all by the time I turned 41. How ironic that the very day I turned 41 I had the phone call with news that our baby had a chromosomal abnormality. If that wasn’t a punch in the gut from the fertility gods I don’t know what is! Initially a few years earlier whilst we were still trying to conceive naturally I said I wanted to be pregnant by the time I turned 40. When that number came and went it wasn’t in such a forceful way as 41. Maybe it’s a sign to give this all up. I don’t know anymore.
Lately I find myself looking more intently at women who appear mature age with babies. I’ve taken to trying to gauge their age. I can’t even shop anymore as all I see everywhere is babies and sometimes seemingly older mums. A flicker of hope ignites in my belly. This is shitty.

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One thought on “How ironic

  1. I feel this way when I go out in public. I look at seemingly young moms and pregnant women and wonder why that can’t be me. I have a high school friend who got married around the same time I did and her baby is due next month. It makes me upset that that could have been me. I could be at that point.
    However, I have to remind myself that all of our bodies are different. And maybe it’s not meant to happen right now. It’s hard to do. But you can’t compare yourself to other women.

    Liked by 1 person

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